Now,
I think the phrase is grossly overused. Every other person I bump into on
Facebook thanks for universe for one thing or another. I’ve noticed the phrase
is also used a lot by younger people, people with few real problems, and people
who know they’ll have enough money for the rent because they have little
responsibility and plenty of excess cash.
These people also see magic in everything. Seeing magic isn’t a bad
thing, but in all things? Granted, I acknowledge magic in many things. I know
that coincidences are rarely coincidences, and I believe in animal symbols and
synchronicity. I even believe in magic.
I just don’t see it absolutely everywhere.
That
used to be me. It was easy to see magic everywhere from my office in downtown
San Francisco. I mean, the view there was spectacular. It was easy to
acknowledge the power of the universe through the lens of $100K plus per year. Now, I have a non-profit job that I love. I march to work in a baseball cap and t-shirt with my favorite comic book character on it, size large since I've lost over a hundred pounds, and the view sees me much happier. It might be easier to see through a $100K per year lens, but it doesn't make me as happy as this does, highlighting the enormous difference between "easy" and "happy".
My
past certainty is replaced by unanswered questions, lots of unanswered
questions. Like, why is it possible for bacteria to take down a robust 60 year
old woman? Why is it so hard for me to find a well-paying job that has
benefits? Why is Daizy peeing in the
bedroom upstairs at night all of a sudden instead of outside like she has
without fail for the last 7 years? Why
is good fortune often accompanied by equally bad fortune, as if some kind of
balance must be maintained, and how does one enjoy that good fortune without
guilt?
I do believe in a higher power. It doesn't matter to me if it’s God or Goddess or the universe. What matters is the knowledge that God/Goddess helps those who help themselves. Certainly, it’s the higher power that can deal you an Ace over a Queen in Black Jack. But you have to understand what’s in your hand and take the initiative to ask for a card.
I
guess what I’m saying is that at almost 50, I see less and less of those magic
moments. And when I do, I know they
happen because I helped make them happen.
Donna L. Faber
April 5, 2013
Donna L. Faber
April 5, 2013
2 comments:
You've had a long hard stretch. The last five years have been so difficult for so many people and for our country. This past winter was hard for me--starting with Hurricane Sandy in October, going through election stress, then Newton then the fiscal cliff and now the sequester. All that was a backdrop for more personal struggles and the longest coldest grayest winter we've had in a very long time. I began to lose hope of things ever improving for us and then they did. Small things and bigger things that have helped me feel the light on my face again and pushed back the creep of despair. I hope Leslie gets relief from her pain and you get relief from your financial struggles and unemployment. Thinking of you.
You ain't just whistlin' Dixie, V-Grrrl ... It has indeed been a long stretch, and while I long for these financial challenges to ease, I am also enjoying what I'm doing at the Art Center. Crazy.
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