Amma 2011@ Individual Blessings: Bless Me Mother For I Have Sinned

© 2003 SMVA Trust

This year, Amma will be back in the Bay Area for Guru Purnima, a celebration open to the public, from July 15 - July 17, 2011. Keep an eye on her website for details.

I was at the Sunnyvale Hindu Temple most of the day Thursday and Friday enjoying the first public programs of Sri Karunamayi’s 2011 US Tour.  Many of us call her Amma, which means “Mother” in Her native Telegu, and I’ve seen her for 10 years mostly in the Bay Area.   This visit was important to me.  I’ve recently lost my job and find myself at a crossroads.  What do I want to focus on going forward?  I thought intensely about my health, my relationships, how I manage stress and my creativity in the days prior to the program.  I’ve also been able to help more than usual, though I’m careful to balance the needs of my family, as having more time is a beneficial side effect of unemployment.

The first of Amma’s no cost public programs was individual blessings, during which any person can approach her with a list of private concerns or needs.  It’s a carefully orchestrated event that may last up to a full day and include 400 or 450 people.  She asks for silence or our best efforts during this program and gives each of us her undivided attention when we approach her.

Aside from many spiritual aspects, and simply from my perspective, of course, there are two very important points to smoothly facilitating this day.  I mention this because it seems that people need Mother’s reassurance more than ever, and I can’t help that it rouses the meeting and event planner in me.  The first point is preventing the front door from becoming a bottleneck, and the second is gently controlling the crowd, which implies addressing everyone’s concerns sensitively and compassionately as they wait in one line or another for their time with Mother.  Seekers must enter the hall without shoes and remain silent.  There is considerable activity around this, and because the front table is the only thing that stays in one place, questions tend to land there.  With a crowd of 400, the front door can become a bottleneck quickly, and as a result seekers get worried and anxiety mounts.  As luck would have it, Thursday’s program was intimate with a little less than 200 people in total.  The door didn’t turn into a problem, and I was relieved because I was working there!

The second important component to this program, from my limited view, is what I would lovingly refer to as crowd control.  The responsibility for this falls upon the ushers, also devotees and for the most part local volunteers (aka sevites).    Most attendees are indeed very serious about their one-on-ones with Amma, but Thursday’s group felt more intense than usual, which is no surprise  given the state of the economy and our world in general.  Many people juggled personal challenges like limited time off from work, responsibility to their families, and a lack of funds, much of which we heard about at the front desk; but still many were generous with donations.  As activity happened around lining up to see Mother, their agitation grew, I felt, some even bordering on desperation.   To their credit, the ushers kept it organized, addressed each and every concern, knew when to make an exception and allow someone to step ahead in line, and then did gentle damage control around those who noticed and didn’t approve.  I thought they were awesome.

Amma was, as ever, a picture of harmonious serenity.  The relatively small size of the crowd meant She could take her time with everyone, and so she did, stretching the morning time period well past 1 p.m. before she left for a very brief break.   She never, ever reacts to any of the noise around her, and rather focuses her attention completely and totally on the individual in front of her.  It’s quite uncanny, but her attention never wavers.  

I got in line for my individual blessing at about 1:30 p.m.  and the first thing I noticed was the ruckus.  This crowd was loud and active.  The ushers worked very hard and very patiently, but people were demanding, asked questions,  and tried to cut in line for no particular reason again and again.  It was all very distracting, but like at the front desk, to me it demonstrated how upset Her children are at this time.

My Altar Space

Finally, I had my chance to approach Amma and lay my concerns at Her sacred feet.  She was lovely, and gave me a big, big smile.  Oh, how I needed that.  She also noticed my hair.  I got my hair colored yesterday, and decided to redden up the blond in the front which took the color differently, way differently!  The back is a deep red, but the front is like a Lucille Ball hair-do on fire, harkening me back to another visit with Amma in Chicago almost 10 years ago.   Is this my subconscious effort to be noticed?  Some things never change.  After giggling affectionately for a moment, She looked me right in the eye and asked me a very personal question.  And that’s when my tears started.  Suffice it to say the subsequent moments with  Amma were powerful.  There are times when she doesn’t say a word, but during this visit she addressed me verbally and very directly.  I left her feeling shaken.

Each time I see Amma, it is a successful visit; even when our contact is minimal. This time, however, I spent a number of days reflecting on my needs, and then a day in silent reflection.  Doing so left me open and receptive to the power of Mother’s divine love. 

What I considered a successful individual blessings program is a testimony to the enormous amount of work done by the Bay Area Coordinator and volunteers before, during and after Amma’s visit.  Smriti, the Coordinator, has a clear vision of what she wants, and puts love into every detail out of a strong desire to make the program as good as it can be for Ma.  In my 20 year career, I’ve done parties of up to 2,000 people, small cocktail parties, sit down dinners, community service events, and themed office parties so I can confirm it’s a lot of work under normal circumstances.  However, staying on task when Amma is present, when all we want to do is space out on Her energy, is a major accomplishment.  The way Smriti cares about the quality of Amma’s programs takes it to the next level for the benefit of every person who may connect with Sri Karunamayi during the Bay Area Program.

The two days spent with my Spiritual Mother were personally impactful in ways I’m still fully realizing, still processing. I know this is the case because my family keeps asking me if I'm preoccupied with something.  I guess I am on the deepest levels.  I want to get my impressions down in writing, but I continue to make emotional and intellectual connections, and so my perceptions are mercurial.  Even as I wrote this, I found myself getting long winded or changing my mind.

What I do know for certain is that my personal urgency and the issues in my life are no more or less important than any one person in the crowd on Individual Blessings day.  It’s true that the Divine Mother helps those who help themselves.  Yet if we’re meant to have a certain experience no matter how difficult it seems to be, I know that we are meant to learn from it in the end.  I wonder if perhaps I've gotten a bit better at going with the flow, or a bit closer to surrendering the illusion of control.

It’s taken me a year a half worth of hard core life lessons simply to get the hang of being right here in this moment.

I'm happy with that for now.

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You may be interested in more posts and information on Amma, Sri Karunamayi, as follows:

1. See more photos and a brief video of Friday’s homa (vedic fire ceremony) here.
2. View Amma’s website including tour information.
3. Enjoy a meditation video featuring the Sri Mrutyunjaya Mantra by Karunamayi here.
4. Read about my family's visit with Amma in Fremont here.
5. And search my blog for posts on Amma's visits in past years including 2008 and 2009.

Jai Karunamayi!


D❤

Guardian Series 1: Ganesha
© February 16, 2011 by Donna L. Faber

The White Swan of My Spirituality

© Lorcan Keating

This photo is by Lorcan Keating, who lives and works in San Francisco.  Lorcan successfully captures the vast subtleties of the world around him with his lens, focusing primarily on San Francisco neighborhoods and wildlife.  He can be found on Facebook.

Swans are revered in Hinduism, and are compared to saintly persons whose chief characteristic is to be in the world without getting attached to it, just as a swan's feather does not get wet although it is in water. The Sanskrit word for swan is hamsa or hansa, and it is the vehicle of many deities like the goddess Saraswati. It is mentioned several times in the Vedic literature, and persons who have attained great spiritual capabilities are sometimes called Paramahamsa ("Great Swan") on account of their spiritual grace and ability to travel between various spiritual worlds. In the Vedas, swans are said to reside in the summer on Lake Manasarovar and migrate to Indian lakes for the winter. They're believed to possess some powers such as the ability to eat pearls. They are also believed to be able to drink up the milk and leave the water from a saucer of milk adulterated with water. This is taken as a great quality, as shown by this Sanskrit verse:Hamsah shwetah, bakah shwetah, kah bhedah hamsa bakayo? Neeraksheera viveketu, Hamsah hamsah, bakah bakah! (Source: Wiki)

It’s been a long time since I was completely stress-free.  I’m convinced that when stress is turned up high, it blocks any good vibes from getting through, particularly when you need them the most.  It took almost a month after leaving the office, but I’m feeling much better than I was previously, and just in time, too.  Sri Karunamayi begins her U.S. Tour in the San Francisco Bay Area, and Leslie, Elizabeth and I were fortunate enough to be one of the first people to see her here today, on the first day of the first city in her tour. She landed in San Francisco International Airport, direct from India, after being in the air for 16 hours, and made her way to the family hosting her in Fremont.  We were there with about 25 of other devotees to meet her. I want to be as open and relaxed as possible so I can absorb as much of her positive spiritual energy as I can.

Sri Karunamayi is revered in India as an embodiment of divine motherly love, due to the love and affection that she showers liberally on people, animals, and even plants, the spiritual knowledge and guidance that she gives freely to all of humanity, and the humanitarian works that she has undertaken. "Amma," as she is affectionately called by her devotees, is simply the Telugu word for "mother," Telugu being Amma's native language. (http://www.karunamayi.org/)

I’ve looked forward to this visit for weeks, and it was precipitated by several days of intense and deep thought. Everything I’ve had rolling around in my head, along with residual sadness, came to the surface to be inventoried. This has happened before.  I re-evaluated by work experience, current relationships, and what I’d like to do with my life, where I’d like to focus my attention, going forward.  I thought about the people I love, my creative efforts, and the current state of our fragile world.  All this and more then bounced into my dreams last night.  First, I was in a giant ashram full of different rooms and women wearing spiritual whites and sari’s running around getting ready for Amma’s visit (an obvious corrrelation).  Then, I was in an office in a new, temporary job working for a woman who clearly didn’t like me (deja vu).  Granted, I’ve had this particular dream more than once since being laid off.  I was doing a Power Point presentation for her and couldn’t get it right no matter what I did.  She fired me finally, and I left the office building carrying a queen size mattress (an awkward burden, much like rejection), dragging it, down a large, dark woodland road (an unknown dark place).  As I walked, a tall blonde woman I didn’t recognize crouched by the roadside to nurse her baby (nurturing new ideas and directions).  A long parade of white domestic cats, all shapes and sizes, padded ghostlike across the road and into the woods behind her. They were on their way to Amma’s program, too.  I’m no expert on dream symbolism, and I usually have little interest in white cats, but I can guess on much of this.

I don’t insist my family attend Amma’s programs.  I get wrapped up in it on the days I can be there, but Elizabeth is usually in school, and Leslie is usually busy running everyone around.  They end up in the background, waiting and watching.  I figure a person doesn’t have to directly participate to benefit from the wonderful vibrations of Amma’s positive spiritual energy.  It’s like a contact high.  You don’t have to smoke the peace pipe to get the buzz. However, this home visit, outside of her programs, is special and typically for devotees who help.  I don’t feel like I did much, not compared to The Bay Area Coordinator’s efforts, but I was invited for the third time.  It is a unique opportunity to have special time with Amma outside of individual blessings and before more structured programs focus her attention on the hundreds of people (typically thousands in India) who bring their sorrows, wants and worries to lay at Her feet, revered as She is as the Divine Mother's earthly representation and Saraswati.

Amma in Fremont on March13, 2011

The family that hosts Amma is a traditional Hindu family, and so are many of her devotees.  When we entered their home, one of Amma’s bhajans (spiritual songs) played.  The house was decorated in Hindu fashion just for the ocassion and filled with a diverse blend of people; some traditional Indian, some hippy looking types, and others completely Western in appearance.  There were white sheets spread out all over the floor.  Color is of particular importance, although I don’t know the details.  Amma asks us to approach her in all white at programs, as well.  She arrived with traditional fanfare, looking no worse for the more than 24 hours spent traveling, and spoke to us in her sweet voice, as people clattered and chattered in the background.  Her children were anxious this day, nervous even.  Thank the heavens She’s arrived because Mother Earth is shaking all to pieces.

In her brief darshan, Amma focused on planetary influences and was very sad about what's happening in Japan, indicating that human greed and selfishness is at the core root of these disasters. She reminded us about the Sri Mrutyunjaya mantra, an ancient vedic healing mantra, and told us about the many homas they’ve performed in India, focusing on this month specifically.  Check out the mantra here. You don't have to sing it.  Just play it, and it works by healing and warding off negative energy whether you believe in it or not.  She mentioned that human beings are struggling psychologically with depression, anxiety, and confusion. Yet, she also laughed easily with us, assuring us that San Francisco is a very spiritual place.  Then, she blessed the Prasad, and it was passed around.  Candies, nuts, and other treats infused with her spiritual energy were given to everyone.  By the time she wrapped it up, I was completely buzzed, thoroughly high on her pure, spiritual vibration.  I watched her walk through the small crowd toward her personal room for the night, and noticed that her braid, the tiny tip of which peaked through the bottom of her shawl, was almost down to her knees.  


She is the white swan of my spirituality, and when She glides quietly and gracefully away from those of us who want and need her attention so very much, I miss her immediately.

Due to my personal disdain for modern day religion, these spiritual experiences are the closest thing to “religion” my family and I have. My love for the Divine Mother resides in my heart, my devotion or bhakti is personal, and as far as I’m concerned the Goddess is everywhere and for everyone.  She has many faces so Her children can find one to identify with. The Holy Mother, Virgin Mary, Athena, Hecate, Saraswati, Durga and even Kali are all aspects of the same to me.  I believe very strongly that we all have the right to our personal faiths without persecution, and I don’t appreciate it when others cram their experience down my throat.  This has never happened to me in the 10 years I’ve seen Amma.  The Hindu trappings, like the ancient religion itself, are not prerequisite to being in Her presence. I take what I want and need from the experience and leave the rest.  It was unnerving initially, but I’ve noted that some people who return learn to release that intimidation and adhere to the Hindu practices in programs when it’s spiritually necessary or done out of respect.  Like taking yours shoes off at the front door.

No matter what the guidelines are, and no matter if I do or don’t adhere to them, what matters is that Amma has made an enormous personal impact in my life; greater than my parents, my grandparents, and all my relatives put together. With the exception of Leslie and Elizabeth, She has been a singular most positive influence.  She helped me access and realize my worthiness, and gave me spiritual and emotional healing at a time when I was drowning in my own broken nature. She’s also been there in very tangible and somewhat unexpected ways.

Now, as I sort through the feelings accumulated over the last year and a half, I’m relieved by the certainty that my Spiritual Mother is here to help … just as She helps all her children.


Learn more about the upcoming Bay Area Program here.

Jai Ma … ❤