I’ve never considered myself sensitive to the seasons. I grew up in Connecticut and was either unaware of the way the seasons might have affected me or wasn’t affected at all. I remembered how humid it can get, but oddly I don’t seem to mind it as much as I used to. After living in California for 20 years and then moving here in 2006, I’ve discovered that I am indeed sensitive to the seasons. What do they call it? Seasonal dysphoria or something equally ominous. Rosie O’Donnell would know what it’s called. Whatever it is, let me confirm that the winter does make me feel very, very funky.
The last few days have been full of sunshine and warm breezes. At last! All the trees bringing forth their buds respond to the magic of spring. Not just the tiny red ones on the maples, but the willow tress have gotten greener, too. The birds have returned. There are cardinals and blue jays in the backyard. We’ve seen ground hogs, big ones, here and there alongside the thruway. Even the stars seem brighter, if that is possible. The sunshine has pushed the clouds from my head away, as well, and shines new perspectives and renewed optimism on the future.
In his article “Astrology Stress Zones for April 2008 - Mars stimulating Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces” astrologist Robert Wilkinson (www.aquariuspapers.com) makes timely points about this very topic. I have a Leo sun and loads of Virgo in my natal chart.
Leo and Virgo people are entering a fallow period where you'll to do closure rituals, preparing for a whole new cycle to come starting late June through mid-July 2008. This period is directly related to the process of re-doing, undoing, or rearranging something ... for Leos, it concerns your sense of the future, your education, your home, your family, or revisiting something of your early life. For Virgos, it concerns your perspective, how you communicate, your environment, desires, siblings, shared resources, magnetism, and what you need to let go of to create the space to regenerate or attract what you need.
As my family and I get ready to put our house on the market and move back to the West Coast (which I am convinced will happen quickly once the ball is rolling), I am preparing to leave this place and the past behind once and for all. I’ve already started a list of things I’ll miss and things I won’t miss. My homage to the state I was born in. The last two years have been about readdressing the distant past as time and circumstance allowed one last dance with each issue.
This is work I might have done in 1987 when Leslie and I were here before. I wasn’t ready, and so I carried my baggage around for another 20 years. Every issue I encountered then (my mother, brothers, childhood friendships, and relatives) resurfaced again. Every single one! However, this time I’m not looking at the world through rose colored classes. This time my vision is clear. Having grown out of the need for acknowledgement from these people, and no longer treasuring the tiny bits of attention they cast in my direction or seeking my identity in their reflection (no longer settling for scraps), I’ve discovered that self-respect and personal empowerment go a long way toward redefining relationship priorities and letting go of those that are no longer healthy.
I’ve dealt with and put to rest long standing, unhealthy relationship patterns with my mother, my father and both of my brothers. I’ve had to put limits on my dealings with both of my aunts because they adhere to old relationship habits and can’t handle it or don’t understand it when I won’t follow suit. I’ve had to sever more than one life-long friendship due to extreme differences in values and priorities, issues I couldn’t see until I got here.
The silver cord that ran between us pulsated with life whether I wanted it to or not, and my worry and attention fed it thusly. I felt powerless to stop it. Now, to those of you out there who wish to hold me or mine responsible for your own pain, rage, or short comings, I say this -- look unto the mirror for your answers ... I do hereby sever that cord for now and forever. As above, so below~!
These are situations I once carried with me, worried about, and put energy into up until I finally had to let them go. And so, the next few weeks will be about coming to terms with those decisions in a way that prepares my family and I for the future.
It’s all about spring cleaning, my friends.
Notes: (1) The cartoon at the very top of this article is Edgar from Lynn Johnston's "For Better or For Worse" (see link on sidebar). (2) Spiderwoman is copywritten by Marvel Comics. (3) If you don't know Madonna when you see her, you must be in a coma.